Something I've been very guilty of in the past and still struggle with occasionally is coming to god as I am. Its so easy to delay seeking his guidance because I'm not good enough. I honestly do not believe I deserve anything good. I've made so many mistakes, hurt and mislead so many people, and taken god's name in vain so much that its hard to believe that anyone, much less god could ever forgive me.
A dear friend recently told me, "You are way too hard on yourself." Am I? At first I thought, maybe I am. I even spoke to my pastor about this.
Short aside: This "dear friend" is someone I have recently re-connected with by what I believe to be God's will. She is a wonderful person and someone I do not deserve to have in my life, which is how she came to say this to me. I'll speak on this more later, but I pray every morning and every night that I have not ruined what could possibly be the most incredible romantic relationship I have ever or will ever experience.
When I spoke to my pastor I mentioned Ms. Smiles ( I change her name simply because I do not have permission to use her name) comment kinda offhandedly, but something about it caught my pastor's attention. He asked me what I meant by i could not forgive myself and that I do not deserve her in my life. It seemed simple, I am a walking mistake. Sin walking on earth. God has given me so many blessings that surely this one was one too many and one too great.
Here's what I learned that day: God forgave us all when Jesus died on the cross. His forgiveness is a gift. It is ours (humanity), we own it. Each and every one of us has been forgiven. We have all been justified to enter into heaven and everlasting life. Only by repeatedly rejecting this gift can we fall short of God's mercy. Being forgiven by God Himself requires that we forgive others and just as importantly forgive ourselves. What right do I have to not forgive myself when God already has forgiven me? Is my judgement more important than His?
I have salvation. Jesus died for me and for you. He died for my Pastor, he died for Ms. Smiles. He forgave us all. It is my imperative to do the same.
If I have ever hurt you, please forgive me.
If you have ever hurt me, I forgive you.
Prayer: My Father in heaven, thank you for your ultimate sacrifice. Thank you for the forgiveness you gained for us on the cross. Lord help me to see forgiveness in all things, in all people including myself. I have made many mistakes, i have stumbled and fallen more than I have walked in your light, but with your strength and with your Love I can walk on your path and forgive myself and those who have sinned against me. For it is written in Matthew 6:14, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Lord keep in me the humility and remind me of my need for forgiveness lest I forget and become bold in my sin, but also remind me of your Love for me and the forgiveness you have given with your blood. In the name of your son, Jesus Christ, I pray, Amen.
A dear friend recently told me, "You are way too hard on yourself." Am I? At first I thought, maybe I am. I even spoke to my pastor about this.
Short aside: This "dear friend" is someone I have recently re-connected with by what I believe to be God's will. She is a wonderful person and someone I do not deserve to have in my life, which is how she came to say this to me. I'll speak on this more later, but I pray every morning and every night that I have not ruined what could possibly be the most incredible romantic relationship I have ever or will ever experience.
When I spoke to my pastor I mentioned Ms. Smiles ( I change her name simply because I do not have permission to use her name) comment kinda offhandedly, but something about it caught my pastor's attention. He asked me what I meant by i could not forgive myself and that I do not deserve her in my life. It seemed simple, I am a walking mistake. Sin walking on earth. God has given me so many blessings that surely this one was one too many and one too great.
Here's what I learned that day: God forgave us all when Jesus died on the cross. His forgiveness is a gift. It is ours (humanity), we own it. Each and every one of us has been forgiven. We have all been justified to enter into heaven and everlasting life. Only by repeatedly rejecting this gift can we fall short of God's mercy. Being forgiven by God Himself requires that we forgive others and just as importantly forgive ourselves. What right do I have to not forgive myself when God already has forgiven me? Is my judgement more important than His?
I have salvation. Jesus died for me and for you. He died for my Pastor, he died for Ms. Smiles. He forgave us all. It is my imperative to do the same.
If I have ever hurt you, please forgive me.
If you have ever hurt me, I forgive you.
Prayer: My Father in heaven, thank you for your ultimate sacrifice. Thank you for the forgiveness you gained for us on the cross. Lord help me to see forgiveness in all things, in all people including myself. I have made many mistakes, i have stumbled and fallen more than I have walked in your light, but with your strength and with your Love I can walk on your path and forgive myself and those who have sinned against me. For it is written in Matthew 6:14, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Lord keep in me the humility and remind me of my need for forgiveness lest I forget and become bold in my sin, but also remind me of your Love for me and the forgiveness you have given with your blood. In the name of your son, Jesus Christ, I pray, Amen.
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